New tennis balls range marketed at dogs
Despite
record TV audiences for grand slam tennis so far this year, top tennis brands have taken
a new approach to sales.
A recent
poll conducted by Pets At Home found that of every ten new tennis balls sold in
the UK, nine are bought by dog owners, eight of which are given directly to the
animals (the remaining one accounting for dog owners that actually do play
tennis).
The
rebrand takes the form of an innovative new marketing campaign aimed at dogs,
with pictures of happy dogs playing tennis on the packaging.
Mr.
Wilson from Slazenger was delighted
at the outcome. “We’ve
saved a fortune in printing costs. Black ink is much cheaper than colour.”
Mr.
Slazenger from Wilson said: “Along
with the rebrand, the product itself has taken on a few changes. We’ve replaced
the rubber with bone, and instead of the famous green fuzz, we’ve used chicken
fat”.
We spoke
to some dogs from the east London suburb of Barking. 80% of those interviewed
responded positively with wagging tails and drooling ears. One group from the
local tennis club were less pleased, however:
“It’s a
f**king stupid idea. I don’t care how many focus groups they held, the balls
don’t bounce anymore. What are we supposed to do? The canine lawn tennis
championships start next week!”
When
asked to comment on this injustice, Richard Head of Head responded: “Injustice? You really call yourself an impartial
journalist? You make me sick. Now get out of my hospital room.”
The product launch takes place tomorrow evening at a secret location in Wimbledon.
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