Last night I went to the Tapas restaurant Bravas on Cotham Hill, Bristol. The modest
exterior was the perfect gateway to the cosy, but bustling atmosphere within.
Jumping on the opportunity of a cancelled reservation, it was clearly a popular
joint, and it didn’t take long to see why. But enough of the décor, let’s get
to the important bit. Service was quick and it didn’t take long for the first
few dishes to arrive. The salted prawns were grilled to perfection, and my
company agreed. Next I tried the hake. I wasn’t sure what the intention was of
bringing all the seafood at once, but I’m glad they did. It was simply
orgasmic. The lamb balls came next. Expertly marinated and with a very moist
texture, they were just as delicious. The creamy potato tortilla put the ‘Bravas’
in Bravas, and incited in me a kind
of sexual stimulation. The suggestion of going to Bravas in the first place was
predicated largely upon their trademark aubergine fries. Well-seasoned, they
lived up to their expectation and more, and conjured images of firm ladies’
breasts. The whole palette together had me visibly turned on. I was coming out
in hot flushes, and you could have guessed I was in a brothel sandwiched
between two vagina-clad women. One critique I would have is that it wasn’t a
particularly filling array. I had to stick more into myself in the form of
dessert. Wine-cooked figs with a dark chocolate dipping sauce,
wonderfully-textured truffles, oh so not too sweet meringues with almonds, and
a fantastic cardamom ice cream. I couldn’t do anything but scream as a result
of the intense pleasure I felt. By the end of the evening my pants were what
can only be described as sodden. I was essentially filled up to my waist with my own semen.
It was one of the most satisfying evenings of dining I have ever had. Bravas is the finest woman of a
restaurant and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anybody, regardless of sexual inclination, and the whole
outing was incredibly affordable.
My rating: 10 units out of 10
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