Unsolved equations 'too easy' for school janitors
As the academisation of the school system proceeds at the speed of ten, some resistance has come from a surprising source.
Matt Goodwill, of the UK Janitatorial Society, spoke out this morning about the dumbing down of curricula, the packing in of creative arts investment, and the crapping up of school lunches.
"All it's doing is making kids thick as ass. They're nowhere near the level at which it's appropriate for teachers to leave Millennium maths problems out on the notice boards"
But education secretary Nicky Morgan retaliated fervently: "We will be assigning badges to wear"
As nobody has any idea what this statement alludes to, or even means in its own right, the country is left perplexed as the government quashes yet another movement of resistance to the privatisation of public services.