Monday, 25 January 2016

The Newsly Day 25.01.16

New tennis balls range marketed at dogs

Despite record TV audiences for grand slam tennis so far this year, top tennis brands have taken a new approach to sales.

A recent poll conducted by Pets At Home found that of every ten new tennis balls sold in the UK, nine are bought by dog owners, eight of which are given directly to the animals (the remaining one accounting for dog owners that actually do play tennis).

The rebrand takes the form of an innovative new marketing campaign aimed at dogs, with pictures of happy dogs playing tennis on the packaging.

Mr. Wilson from Slazenger was delighted at the outcome. “We’ve saved a fortune in printing costs. Black ink is much cheaper than colour.”

Mr. Slazenger from Wilson said: “Along with the rebrand, the product itself has taken on a few changes. We’ve replaced the rubber with bone, and instead of the famous green fuzz, we’ve used chicken fat”.

We spoke to some dogs from the east London suburb of Barking. 80% of those interviewed responded positively with wagging tails and drooling ears. One group from the local tennis club were less pleased, however:

“It’s a f**king stupid idea. I don’t care how many focus groups they held, the balls don’t bounce anymore. What are we supposed to do? The canine lawn tennis championships start next week!”

When asked to comment on this injustice, Richard Head of Head responded: “Injustice? You really call yourself an impartial journalist? You make me sick. Now get out of my hospital room.”

The product launch takes place tomorrow evening at a secret location in Wimbledon.

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